Title: Human

Gender: Male

Age: 21

Location: Calgary, AB

One day I went to pandora.com and created a radio station based off of the music of Cascada and I haven't stopped listening to that radio station since that day. 

My brother Josh and I used to play Batman & Robin around our hometown.  We conjured a villain extraneous to the kosher Batman line for our imaginal enjoyment, and fucked with that villain daily for months.  For a reason I don't understand we would occasionally lose to our imagined villain.  We also used to carry around a supply of knives and lighters in a red suitcase.  My brother set a lot of things on fire.  My cousin's leg, plastic bags.  We used to make potions out of hair conditioning products.  We'd mix them up and sniff them.  Once we created a potion that made you pee when you sniffed it.  We found it later in the rinsed-out cottage cheese container we'd mixed it in, dried up, and sniffed it.  It made us both pee.  We laughed and laughed.

Once I was at a club, it was Spanish night, I didn't realize that until I got in, and as it turned out the Spanish girls liked me, because four of them ended up fighting over me.  Four of them.  I had to run out of the club after making out with each one of them.  A ring of Spanish men looked on with feirce, strangely benign envy.  I think one of the girls had fake boobs because they were very hard to the touch.  They, the girls, kept on taking my hand and mashing it into their respective 'kitty'.  I was afraid for my legal status.  I was afraid for my clothes when the actual tug of war began.  It was a great opportunity to sink into the Simple Feeling of Being… fought over by four spanish chicks.

I can't count how many times I've fallen off of a real live horse.  But actually, I am better at riding horses than Corey Devos, or you, or probably anyone reading this.  I can take a horse that has never been ridden and stand on its back within forty five minutes of working with it.  Can you even imagine that kind of skill?  Yet I always find that I can't perform simple tasks like tying off a garbage bag around the lip of a garbage can, or unplug my computer without knocking a lamp over.

How many times have I been finally and totally able to inhabit a unilateral mode, fill up a single perspective, while listening to Europop?  More times than with any other activity.  This is why I am happy to fuck nay-sayers silly.

I read all the Harry Potters.  Stephen King was integral to my development.  I was raised in a cult.  I've played a lot of role-playing games.  I watch the Red Sox semi-religiously.  Ken Wilber means a whole lot to me, is my favorite author, among many other things.  These are facts that—you'd be surprised—are very important to me.

I write stories.  My motivations are pure.  I hope you like them.

Member Since: Sunday, March 19 2006

Last Visit: 2 days ago.

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