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November 2008 
Terms of Endearment
Posted on Oct 24th, 2006
by 
Brondu
Brondu
Ok, so I'm living with a couple of cats. Both of them are being fed some sort of food that's not good for their system at this point so as a consequence they fart like crazy. Fart. Fart. Fart. And we're talking the kind that if it came out of a person's ass everyone in the room would clear out and be angry at that dude for the entire evening. Consequently I have had to construct some terms of endearment. They are as follows:
1. I approach you, you don't approach me.
2. The following will get you rudely ejected from the room or premises:
i. farting
ii. meowing
iii. using your claws in almost any way
iv. rubbing up against my legs
v. scratching at my door, or a door, or at anything
vi. playing too vigorously
As long as the cat works within these parameters, though, we have a grand time. Cute kitty, really.
1. I approach you, you don't approach me.
2. The following will get you rudely ejected from the room or premises:
i. farting
ii. meowing
iii. using your claws in almost any way
iv. rubbing up against my legs
v. scratching at my door, or a door, or at anything
vi. playing too vigorously
As long as the cat works within these parameters, though, we have a grand time. Cute kitty, really.
Access: Public
Hey Brondu,
I was actually told that cats don't fart….no, my cat's not the one who told me that! Until we adopted Huck 2 years ago, I'd only had dogs and I know that they fart! My Huck has never farted in all the time that I've had him in my life, thus my belief in the myth that cat's don't fart. Maybe you need to change their diet.
Peace and fresh air,
Donna
Good luck on the No rubbing up against the legs! hehehe my Tabby WILL rub legs!
She's cool on all the rest of your requests! So I guess I am lucky!
Better buy lots of Vanilla room spray,
Peggy J
Yeah… These cats aren't mine so I don't really have to tolerate them (let alone change their diet, I mean COME ON!)….
And there's no doubt that they fart, sometimes noisily, always very smelly. So there's a myth debunked. They may not 'fart' but something comes out of their asses. And it smells bad.
So's if the dang cat can't act like a dang cat, how about it acts like a farting dog? Better than a hairball-flingin' feline any day huh? How about a Irianjayan Pissing Chimp? An arctic Barking Camel? A Rhodesian Coughing Adder? A pedantically precotious Polynisian Pooping Peacock? A belching hamster? How about a picture of a cockroach named Wayne?
Just spitballin' (less'n that's not allowed)
Buzz
Go find WALTER THE FARTING DOG. Hee hee..Change the species from canine to feline… too funny… My hubby says ours have smelly butts all the time… so I sympathize….
Yes, it is in teaching us to handle thease small irritations that the Zen masters who have evolved into the highest life form on the planet - cats - lead us to enlightenment.
hehe
I like with a kitty that my roomate has at the place I stay when I go to work up North. It meows all the time! And it drives me bonkers! I know it just wants some attention but at the same time I have to restrain myself from freaking out at it’s neediness. Maybe its a lesson? I hate lessons, especially when they involve meowing! :)
hehe Darkchanter!
Hi Brondu,
I thought perhaps adding friendly bacteria to the cats’ diet might help. But this says the gas could be due to something in their food:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20060928070029AAofqu0
Rubbing is a way of marking with scent glands to show ownership of you. They see you as a friend. Welcome to the Tribe of Tiger!