Help
Sign In
hilarity
November 2008 
With Confidence I demand you read, I demand you listen.
Posted on Apr 22nd, 2006
by 
Brondu
Brondu
For my next song, I had a difficult time finding a title. I wanted to call it The Monolithic Embrace of Ceaselessly Mundane Tenents in which the Relativity of Simultaneity Abrogates the Perpetually Propogated Necessity of KW entering Blogospheric Space while Paradoxically Simultaneously Offering the Strongest Form of Persuasion, which is a Superliminal Stratospheric Extension towards Colorful Radicality through Double Negative Expression as an Expanded Contextual Integration of.... Magick.
Since the question becomes, "How does the relativity of simultaneity allegedly abrogate the publically swallowed and unquestioned necessity of Ken Wilber blogging?" I will offer you your answer: "By creating a circle of collapsed (mostly materialistic) meaning where the only important things in life are things which lay just beyond our arm's reach of relevance." Which naturally gives rise to the primal scream worded thus, "WHERE IS MY CANDY AND WHY DOES IT MAKE MY STOMACH HURT!"
And after all that do you still want the KW to blog? As do I, as do I and so it is I offer you "the Universal Plea" (which was the title I decided to go with in the end).
But before I go any further with this, you, my dearest reader have got to understand something. The lyrics that will meet your ears will be mystifying. Indeed they are mystical, and I'm not talking about nature mysticism either. I'm talking about that kind that has a bunch of super-suble-intellectualism thrown into the mix. I'm talking about vulnerability. Sweet, sacred, sweaty vulnerability at its most extraneously manifested correlate. I'm talking about the ultimate projection of my own undisguised essential proponents! I'm talking about the only anomolous quality I lay claim to: childishness. Anomolous how? Only in the context I create. Other than that I am but a weak vessle, my referents primarily translatory, and my advice not to be trusted.
But this: This you can trust!
Access: PublicTagged with: hilarity
Listen here Brondu,
If you don't go into 'music production' and I don't see 'Produced by Brondu' on the back of a CD by you or some other artist in the future… them I swear to God (yeah, THAT GOD!!) I am coming to Calgary and I am kicking your ass. Got it!! ; o )
Seriously, dude, you have an exceptional ear… feel… for music.
Love the bassline. Nice groove. Great use of dynamics. (want me to go on??) ; o )
Ok… I will… I just wish the song were longer…
DJP
Nice falsetto.
Thanks fellas. DJP you will SEE me on a CD as a producer one day. Actually that day may not be as far off as I might have originally thought. In any case I’ve got TIIIIIIME and no TIIIIIIME at the same TIIIIIIIME. And I’m using it.
Good…
I am glad to hear that. Nothing I hate more than having to 'beat people down' in order to inspire them to do/be what they always already want to do/be anyways!! ; o )
Yours,
DJP
P.S. Real guitar… or virtual? I say, 'virtual?'
lol… All real. Even the bass was real. Only the synth was virtual. Thine ear hast deceived thee. of course that doesn’t mean I was playing them.
I particulary liked Dandy's hoof noises. I think you should do more songs with him as the main instrumentalist.
I would be but he’s SO busy eating and pooping and biting things and drinking water and rolling sometimes and running around a bit and staying out of the wind and stuff. It really takes up all of his time.
It sounds like he's simply making an ensemble. You ought to record all of those noises, and all you'll need to do is add a little guitar and some voice.
lol. I never thought of that. And I fancy myself a music-man-ey-guy. It seems you are the true mastermind.
I would give that credit to Dandy. It sounds like he's begging to be in your band.
I think you’re right. I can hear him in my mind with his soft neighing pleas… my only concern is transport. I’ll either have to invent a shrinking machine or get a horse trailer for when I do my Europe Stadium Tour in 07.
I think inventing a shrinking machine will be the easier of those two options ;) Let me know if you need me to develop any mathematical equations for you (because I'm a former Calculus teacher… so, I can do that kind of stuff).
Lol. Awesome song Brondu. You rock!
what about the inverse relation between isotropic intrometric barometrical phallicry and frog excriment. I’m thinking that if we can utilize the frog shit’s hatered towards meteorlogically measured phalluses we can harness the relativistic vehicle of hypotheticality, thus transcending and laying to rest Euclidian geometry once and for all! DANDY you will be SMALL!
I think that will work. Have you been working on the cubic zirconian conversion apparatus? Once you attach that to the main confalmatory perspactivator, you can just plug in the following equation: SIZE - x = shrink. Later, when you want Dandy to be full size again, just plug in SIZE + x = grow. Make sure you have the formula set up to use the same value for x. If you accidentally switch the garganheim lever to “random,” you'll be screwed!
But the garganheim lever is so COMPLICATED! It’s like a standard shift stick x 10 + grow = hard. I’m already screwed!
Can you use it on your penis?
I think you need to be more concerned about your nose.
Yeah Brondu, a lot of people have trouble with the gargenheim lever at first. Let me try to explain it in the simplest terms possible. You'll notice that there are only about two postions it can be in: Random and Constant. The lever itself will be pointing at the word to which it is set. So if the lever is pointing to the very large word, “Random,” that means it is set to the “random” setting. And if it is pointing at the extremely large and obvious word, “Constant,” that means it is set to the “constant” setting. If it is somewhere in between, then the machine should not work, unless you forgot to install the “Accident-Stopping” governor. But that's a fairly basic install. All you have to do is derive the fundamental theorem of calculus from Herbert's Axiomatic Systems Web. And this is really just a matter of re-formulating the pi-th condrumdiarc to counter-permeate the fifth-degreed non-orgasmic orgasm postulate to produce fluxicidal fluxation. Let me know if you have any issues with this process, and I'll be sure to get you the cliff's notes.
OOOOOHH. When I found lever stranded in the middle I set about trying to do the super-simple install, but realize now I was going about that whole non-orgasmic orgrasm all wrong and so instead of producing the fuxicidal fluxation I was getting some pretty extreme enigmantic cantriculation repsonses which, naturally, threw me into a state of fortuitous rambunctity which was not productive to the heightened matriculatory gratuity necessary for formulating a semi-subversive state of sensical optochrondriacism, the very state I needed to hardwire my explicit biology into the source code. I think if I can re-formulate, as you suggest, the pi-th condrumdiarc as opposed to conflagurate it I’ll be able to squelch out some non-artifical fluxical fluxation thus ensuring the machine will shut down if it is not totally switched to one or the other of those giant, obvious labels (which I wasn’t able to read for a short while there as they were written in the seventeenth century Universal Philosophick Languge, which seemed like an odd choice since this was a primarily calculatory experiential inferensical procedure). I’m good now. I think…
Actually I think I’m going to buy a horse trailer.
Ha ha ha… always taking the complicated route, I see… well, if you ever change your mind, I can have a Seventeenth Century Philosophick Language to English dictionary mailed to you or just a new pair of beer-goggles. But whatever you'd prefer.